A New Dad To Be? Deer in the headlights?
February 21, 2007
Ok. So you’re a dad to be. If you’re like most men, this can be a scary situation. We go through so many emotions and sometimes we don’t know what to think or how to react. Some men get very enthusiastic but then still go through the emotional roller coaster.
Take heart, your not alone. You’re experiencing what man before you has experienced for thousands of years. You’d think that by now a job description would have been past down through the ages and to some degree it has through being raised by your parents.
The first thing that you should know is that your wife or girlfriend is going to go through hormonal changes. There is nothing that you can do about that except to be there for her and be supportive. She is after all going to go through the most amazing, difficult but wonderful experience of her life. For most women, this is when they realize that they truly become a woman. In some cultures you are considered a virgin until you’ve had a baby.
Pipe Down!
February 21, 2007
Life is funny.
My twenty-year-old daughter, Melanie, has a her new summer job as a nanny for three small children. She’s an aspiring operatic soprano who was whisked off to a rich suburb near Manhattan the day after her finals had ended at the Eastman School of Music. Her mother and I miss her dreadfully. Thank God for our Family Talk Plan!
Last night, she called home and as we discussed my upcoming book signing at Borders, she called out, "You two need to pipe down and go to sleep! I don’t want to hear one more peep out of you!"
I doubled over with laughter. The tears streamed down my cheeks. The tone and emphasis was identical to my own words uttered night after night to Melanie and her twin sister, Allison, when they were little. When she came back on the phone, she joined in my laughter.
"You know, Dad, it’s weird. I’m turning into you and mom. I’m so strict, I’m worried all the time about them! I hear you in my own voice each time I talk to them! And when did I learn all the lyrics to these Raffi songs?"
Baby Shower Games to Make Your Baby Shower Exciting
February 20, 2007
The perfect way to spoil the baby shower games is when there is less involvement and participation from your guests. Have you ever been to a baby shower party, any kind of party, and been bored to death? Well, I have, and let me tell you, they are as boring as they get.
Also you don’t have a choice but to grin and bear it because you don’t want to demotivate or offend the guest of honor. Would you like to have that kind of baby shower game party for your guest of honor? I know the answer would be a big NO.
Baby shower games keep the party lively and entertaining:
No two ways about it. Baby shower games when introduced in the party and managed well will make the guest want to stay longer and give your expecting mother a lot of warmth and fun.
The best thing about the baby shower games is that it relieves the expectant mother of the stress which comes with being pregnant. As you might know yourself, being pregnant can be a very stressful time. She gets to be involved in the fun and enjoy the baby shower games with joy.
Fraternal Twin Parenting Concerns
February 20, 2007
Identity and Your Fraternal Twin
For the most part, throughout this article I refer to a fraternal twin in the singular rather than the plural “twins.” This is to emphasize the individuality of each twin. Too often twins are defined only by their being a part of a whole, rather than by their own individual identity. This can be very damaging emotionally, especially during the time children are struggling to establish their own self worth and place in the world.
Treat your fraternal twin as the autonomous, unique child they are. Genetically, fraternal twins are no more similar than their siblings who were born one at a time, and they certainly have personalities all their own. DNA tests can be performed to determine which type of twins your children are - fraternal, identical, etc. Far too often people look too hard for similarities between fraternal twins that simply aren’t there - and in the meanwhile, they miss the opportunity to get to know each twin individually.
Does Your Child Need A Bedtime Routine? - Yes!
February 20, 2007
Do you struggle to get your child to bed at night? We sure did with our daughter. She would refuse to go to sleep in her bed and wanted to hang out with us until we were ready for bed and of course then she would want to sleep in Mama’s and Daddy’s bed.
That all changed when we finally sat down and established a bedtime routine. It helped our daughter establish healthy sleeping habits and got us back into ours. On top of it, we now have a little time to ourselves at night.
Maybe you have heard on TV or read in a parenting magazine that your child needs a bedtime routine. Or you are just plain tired of having to run to her room 20 times before she finally dozes off. For whatever reason you decided it’s time to start setting up a bedtime routine. Where do you go from here? Obviously you are not going to change your child’s habits from one day to the next. Consistency is going to be key, which is why we started by drawing up a basic little plan.
Take out a pen and a piece of paper and jot down the following:
Pregnant Mothers and Starbucks
February 20, 2007
Many mothers are addicted to caffeine and cannot handle going without during the nine months of pregnancy. The damage done to the fetus is a very critical issue in this time of development. Occasionally we see pregnant women come into Starbucks and buy a cup of coffee and wonder if we should say something. We do not of course and mind our own business. They are probably well aware of the risks they are causing their future child. Maybe they do not believe the reports or figure one more cup will not hurt. And maybe that one cup itself will not, but day after day we see them there again.
As we move towards a national health care system, we will be responsible for this child as they grow older. We as a nation, you and I as taxpayers, will be footing the bill in the case of special education classes if that child has issues with learning. So much for the Child Left Behind Act. If the baby has any early complications well we may end up paying for that too. If the child grows up and becomes un-trainable, un-teachable or uncontrollable we are the one’s who will foot the bill with additional education costs, additional police, jails, prisons and rehabilitation.
Would You Know if Your Child Were Being Bullied? 4 Tips to Keep Them From Becoming a Victim
February 19, 2007
The 21st Century Problem in Schools: Bullying, and How to Keep Your Kid From Being a Victim
Children bullying other children has been an issue since there were children, and though it has often been downplayed as “part of growing up,” it has always had potentially serious implications from an emotional perspective.
But these days, due to a host of factors such as our society’s glorification of celebrity and being popular, violence in mass media, and easy access to deadly weapons, the implications can be especially risky. At the extreme, in many of the school shootings over the last decade, the perpetrators were withdrawn students who had a history of being bullied. Though still largely ignored or discounted as a minor issue, bullying is a very serious - and growing - problem.
According to a new study of two schools by UCLA researchers, 47 percent of sixth graders in one school and 46 percent in the other said they’d been bullied at least once during a five-day period.
Drinking and Driving: Will Your Child Become a Statistic?
February 19, 2007
Just two days ago, another 15-year old child was added to the overwhelming statistics of drunk-driving, related deaths. One minute, he’s full of vitality and attending our local high school, the next his unsuspecting parents are identifying him in a local morgue. The harsh reality of this brutal scenerio is sometimes very difficult to comprehend.
“Where did I go wrong?” “Didn’t I talk enough with my child?” “I thought he knew better…” “I assumed he was just at a friend’s house…”
These, and various other queries, are all similar questions parents tend to ask themselves after an incident or accident involving DUI or DWI (Driving Under the Influence, or Driving While Intoxicated).
Wheres My Mother of The Year Award?
February 19, 2007
With orange juice spilled over the kitchen table, Playdough in the cracks of the hardwood floor and a pacifier floating in the toilet, I wanted to scream phrases like, "How much more of this can I take?" and "I am not a maid!" and most of all, as the characters in Peanuts do, the long and profound, "AAUGH!" As I wiped the kitchen table, dug out the Playdough and retrieved the pacifier, I muttered, "Surely I deserve an award for mother of the year."
When I decided to become a mother, I envisioned days of cuddling my newborn and bathing her as serene music filled the air. As she’d grow older, I envisioned playing Ring Around The Rosies with her and a group of her neighborhood friends. I’d be a loving mother, anxious to nurture and praise my child. I’d never raise my voice.
The truth was, as soon as I become pregnant with my firstborn, I realized this was not how I had pictured it at all. I gained an enormous amount of weight, had heartburn and felt the most excruciating pain as I prepared to push my daughter from my body out into the world.
Guide Your Kids! This 3-D Map Leads to Character
February 19, 2007
A tall, weary-looking mother with glasses, walked into my counseling office with her 10-year-old-daughter. The mother frowned at me and sat down. "Oh-oh!" I thought. "Why are you here?" I inquired.
"Jessica’s been shoplifting. I want you to stop her." Jessica flinched then stared at her mother.
"What happened?" I asked.
Jessica, a soft-spoken child with short curly hair and dark brown eyes, proceeded to tell how she had stolen a pack of gum, a candy bar, and a plastic toy from the local grocery store. She glanced cautiously at her mother.
I asked her mother, "Will you please sit in the waiting room?" When she left, I turned to Jessica, "What were you thinking and feeling before and after the shoplifting?" From the things Jessica told me I found out that she had a hole in her heart. Not a physical hole, but a hole only her mother could fill. Jessica had stolen the articles to fill that hole. She thought snacks and toys would make herself happy. What Jessica really wanted was time with her mother.
Of course, a 10-year-old can’t analyze her situation easily. By spending time with Jessica, I had to discover the hole in her heart. I had to find her core.
