The Old and the New
February 28, 2007
During one “generation gap” quarrel with his parents young Michael cried, “I want excitement, adventure, money, and beautiful women. I’ll never find it here at home, so I’m leaving. Don’t try and stop me!” With that he headed toward the door. His father rose and followed close behind. “Didn’t you hear what I said? I don’t want you to try and stop me.” “Who’s trying to stop you?” replied his father. “If you wait a minute, I’ll go with you.”
This is a joke doing its rounds on how the new generation gap has taken shape!
The friction between the young and old exists for ages. The joint family concept had the elders putting the flame off now and then. The younger generation of those days had to meekly submit to the advice of the elders and worked themselves up to success. But of late the nuclear family consists of the parents and maximum two children these days ? the office goers, career oriented fathers and mothers have rarely little time to spend with their children. The children are forced to make independent decisions right or wrong.
Aromatherapy For Babies
February 28, 2007
Before reading this article keep in mind that most doctors don’t recommend the use of aromatherapy on babies that re less than three months old. This is because the nasal and skin tissues of an infant are very sensitive and easily irritated by anything but the blandest of substances. Once your baby is past that age consult with your doctor to make sure that the use of essential oils is right for your child.
Traditionally essential oils are used to purify the air in a nursery and calm and relax the infant. The safest and gentlest way to introduce essential oils into the nursery is to put the oils in a diffuser so the molecules of the oil are dispersed through the air. You can also dilute about ten drops of the oil in a bottle of distilled water and mist that around the nursery and the baby’s bedding. Remember always that if your baby starts sneezing, tearing or fretting that it may not be time to introduce aromatherapy into your baby’s life.
For best results try to choose high quality oils. The inexpensive stuff is cut with crude substances and alcohols and can be overwhelming to the delicate system of a baby.
Weight Loss After Pregnancy - The Importance Of Setting Goals
February 28, 2007
One of the best things you can do is set some goals for yourself. Goal setting is an important aspect of any successful weight loss strategy. The type of goals you set will depend on the amount of weight you have to lose and your personal fitness goals and desires.
It is important that you set goals that are SMART. What are smart goals? They are goals that are:
- Specific
- Measurable
- Acceptable
- Realistic
- Tangible
You want to set ’specific’ goals rather than abstract ones. What is an example? "I want to lose 1 pound per week" is an example of a specific goal. "I want to lose some weight" is not very specific, and won’t set the stage for a successful weight loss program.
You also want to set goals that are measurable. You can for example, monitor your progress at weight loss or monitor the amount of food you put into your body every day.
Poker Parenting: 4 Ways Poker Skills Produce Parenting Thrills
February 28, 2007
Even as a busy parent, I’m sure you’ve seen a poker show on TV or at least heard your friends or relatives talking about it. You might even be someone who’s caught up in the poker craze of the past two years, riding the wave of a steep learning curve. As an avid poker player and father of two, I realize more each day how my poker skills help me raise my kids. Want to know how? Here are four ways to turn your poker skills into parenting thrills:
Play the Hand You’re Dealt
No Limit Texas Hold Em is exciting to play because any hand can win. And that’s what separates a professional from an amateur — the ability to win pots with bad hands.
The same is true for fatherhood. The "hand we’re dealt" is the family environment we grew up in. Let’s face it ?- none of us grew up in an ideal environment, just as none of us gets dealt a pair of aces every hand. But the beauty of No Limit Texas Hold Em -? and fatherhood -? is that any hand can win; it all depends on how you play it.
Dads, Handle your Kids Mistakes
February 27, 2007
One of the most difficult parts of being a father is learning to accept your children’s mistakes. It certainly can be easy to be loving, supportive, and helpful when your children are mistake-free, but most fathers who are paying attention don’t find too many mistake-free periods of their
children’s lives.
Let’s be clear about our kids and their mistakes. There aren’t too many kids who get up in the morning, rub their hands together and say," I wonder how I can screw up today and really bother my dad!" Kids don’t enjoy or want to make mistakes, it’s just one of the ways that they learn about the world.
Kids usually try to do their best; but they’re doing their best considering the resources they have at the time. Sometimes they’re tired, sometimes they’re easily distracted, and sometimes they’re strong-willed, but they generally do the best they can. It’s quite easy for us to unfairly judge them according to their best efforts in the past.
When our kids make mistakes, we have choices to make. Fathers can either make choices that help to create kids who are defensive and who lie to them ?or they can make choices that help to create kids who can learn from their mistakes and improve upon them.
Top Ten Common Sense Rules for Fathers
February 27, 2007
There are a lot of sophisticated parenting theories and techniques out there. Many of them are widely used and treated as the gospel. But if you want to be an effective father, you can skip most of them and concentrate on common sense rules that have always worked. They won’t always make you the most popular Dad, but they’ll always be effective:
Rule #1 Expect a Great Deal From Your Kids
If your kids know that you expect a lot from them, they’ll rise to the occasion. Everything from saying please and thank-you, to efforts in school or on the athletic field. If expectations are made clear in a loving atmosphere, your kids will know you think a lot of them. And when they know this, they’ll respond.
Rule #2 Always Be Willing To Be Part of the Problem
When you’re convinced that someone in your family is causing the problems and you’re blaming them for it, you better realize that this problem won’t get better until you accept that you’re making it worse by blaming. It may feel good to blame, but it never improves anything. Only love and acceptance will make a positive difference.
Im a Father, Doesnt Anyone Care?
February 27, 2007
The snow was getting heavier with each lift of the shovel. My back ached, and I was chilled to the bone.
I’d had enough for one day.
I entered the house and heard the sounds of voices engaged in a friendly game of cards. My wife and kids were sprawled out on the floor of the family room, and they were oblivious to my arrival. "Hi guys!" I yelled. There was no answer. "Hi there!" I tried again. "You can’t use that card!" I heard my daughter shriek.
Then the thoughts started to come. "I’m invisible to them!" I told myself. "All the stuff I do around here, and does anybody notice it? I’m working my tail off again, and they’re in here playing!" As I went downstairs, I took along some heavy baggage with me.
I took blame with me, and a sense of feeling justified in my blame. My wife and kids were to blame. In my victim-filled mind, they should have been there at the door to greet me with hugs and kisses. They should have been filled with adoration at the wonderful job I did on the driveway. And they should have taken me right to the couch, where a back massage and warm food would comfort me. (The fantasies of victims can be pretty wild!)
Baby Shower Gifts
February 27, 2007
As a host, you need to consider the people that will be on the invitation list. Sometimes, finances are tight and buying gifts are tough. You have a couple of options. First, you could set the tone on the invitations advising that while gifts are appreciated, they are not mandatory. This way, people know they can attend the shower but not feel embarrassed if they come without a gift.
Another option is to purchase a few extra, inexpensive but nice gifts from the funds collected. As the host, if you know someone is one a tight budget, you could tactfully let them know that you had extra gifts purchased so if they need one, they are certainly more than welcome simply to take one to give the couple. This way, that individual could choose a gift to give without feeling bad.
SIBLING GIFTS
For siblings, a new baby in the home can be a stressful and insecure time. After all, they are used to getting all the attention and now, everyone who comes to the door is offering something to the new baby, completely looking past them. To ensure siblings are included, we would highly recommend the following:
Dad, Go Ahead and Cry
February 26, 2007
She slipped her small, soft eight-year-old hand into mine. Her face was lit up with joy. And as my daughter took my hand and moved closer to me, I lost control of my emotions.
Tears of joy ran down my face, right in the middle of the church where my daughter was having her first communion. Right in the middle of many of our family members, who had come to support her.
As she sat there in her white dress and veil, she seemed an angel to me. And when I saw the joy in her eyes, I was no match for it. The tears just came.
There’s no manual that comes for us in moments like this. They simply grab you and take you where they want. I sat there, wrestling with a number of conflicting thoughts and emotions. Would my daughter or other family members be embarrassed? After all, I’m a man! We’re supposed to control our emotions, right? Part of me wanted to have the freedom to cry freely without judgment. But mostly, the feeling that overcame me was one of pure joy and gratitude.
Simple Living in a Materialistic World
February 26, 2007
We were sitting in the family room. My kids had finished their first day back at school after the holiday break, and my wife was working late. Michael, my six-year-old son, was finger knitting. Sarah, my eight-year-old, was knitting a scarf. I sat near them and folded clothes. Occasionally someone would share something that had happened during the day, but otherwise it was quiet.
And as we sat there doing our chores, I began to appreciate this time we were spending together. The orgy of presents, travel, and Christmas cookies was over. The routines and rhythms of the work week had begun again. My kids needed structure as badly as I did. We were getting it by being together in this quiet, simple way.
As I sat there folding clothes, I marveled at how little we really needed to be happy. It was quite enough just to be together as we did our work. Many of the gifts my kids received for Christmas were already put away. As often happens, there was a brief flurry of excitement when the gifts were first discovered. Shortly after, the thrill of ownership faded away. And while my kids may be too young to understand it, I’d like them to know that possessions don’t really make them happy. When you live in a consumer-driven and materialistic society, it’s just the message you receive. As author Christopher Lasch states, "A mass advertising culture creates consumers who are perpetually unsatisfied, restless, anxious, and bored."
