His Toy, Her Toy
December 24, 2006
I remember when my daughter was born. Visions of her and I dressed in pinks and purples sitting in her lacy pink room playing dolls danced threw my head. A year later my son was born ;My husbands vision of sports and trucks revved around like mad men threw his manly mind.
Those dreams were simply that dreams. Little did I know there are lessons for parents to learn about children’s toys and who are children will be.
My daughter plays with dolls. She plays with clay and gets her hands dirty. She plays in the dirt, climbs trees and races her trucks around .,he plays kick ball , base ball and can run as fast as any boy.
My son plays with trucks and builds with blocks, he colors and plays ps2 and he plays house with my girls rocking babies and feeding them.
Mutants or Clones?
December 24, 2006
In a single dose of children’s television, I was bombarded with themes of mutants, cyborgs, evolving and the digital world. These words intimidated me at first, until I learned what the shows were talking about. I wondered how this prepares children for living in the 21st century. The answer hit me when I came across the saying, “Don’t Clone…Mutate.”
For those not familiar with the new language, a few definitions are in order. A clone is an exact replica of the original source. Clones are trained to mindlessly conform. Success and failure are based on how well the clone conforms rather than on the clone’s accomplishments and abilities. A mutant is someone or something that has changed from the original source. Mutants are evaluated on their abilities and accomplishments.
In raising children, some parents behave as if training clones. There are some ways to tell if one is raising clones.
Unique and Unusual Baby Names
December 23, 2006
Today one of the biggest trends in naming is choosing a unique name. Those of us who grew up in the 70’s and 80’s undoubtedly knew multiple Jennifers, Amys, Michaels and Johns, and many parents want their child to have a more unusual name. Parents have dusted off old classics, combined names and altered spellings in the hopes of saving their child from the fate of being known throughout their school years as “Amy with a Y” or “Michael R, the one with brown hair.” So how do you find a name that is unique and unusual? Here are some suggestions, along with a few warnings.
1. If you live in the US, look through the top 100 names from the Social Security lists for the past few years to get a sense of what names are currently popular. You may be surprised at just how many children share a name that sounds fresh and unusual to you.
2. Look for unused classics. Literature is a great source of names that were once popular but have since fallen down the charts. Read the names in your family tree or look at Social Security lists from the early 1900’s and you may just fall in love with a forgotten classic.
Breaking the Cycle of Emotional Blackmail
December 23, 2006
Family decision-making is an intriguing phenomenon. Many factors become part of the decision-making process. Emotions play an important part in this activity.
Parents and children each use emotions to steer decisions favorable way to themselves. Using emotions to influence decisions develops naturally.
The use of emotions becomes harmful when they are used as threats to control or intimidate others. Emotionally charged threats and intimidation leaves their victims feeling helpless. Victims of emotional blackmail often give in, believing they have no other options.
Emotional blackmail occurs across ages. Parents use it on children, children use it on parents and even grandparents often enter the picture with their opinions. One parent may even use it on the other parent.
Threats often show up as emotion or behavior-based. Emotional threats are those where the blackmailer uses an emotional state to control the victim. This commonly occurs through rage, screaming, crying, whining or complaining.
Through making the situation uncomfortable enough, they force the victim to do something. When this occurs in public places, embarrassment adds pressure to yield. After several episodes of emotional threats, the victim often gives in to avoid the very possibility of another scene. The very threat of emotional discomfort or blackmail creates pressure to give in.
Children are People, Not Machines
December 23, 2006
When growing up, my father frequently reminded me to “pay attention to the details.” That saying became very real to me in the area of parenting. While raising children, the details make great differences in development.
Being that children are people and not machines, the kind of detailing needed is different. Focusing on the externals of name brand clothing, perfect hair and having the most extensive collection of expensive toys are not the kind of attention needed. Such efforts will result in the child feeling rejected and learning to substitute material objects and appearances for love.
Children need the attention of their parents. The areas of their lives and abilities given attention will develop most. If the majority of parental attention is given to not standing correctly or not finishing tasks, these areas will develop further. In situations where habitual fault-finding occurs, the child eventually takes all that criticism inside and turns it on themselves. Such methods often lead to unmotivated children with low-self-esteem.
Saving Money on Preschool: Readiness Skills Needed for Kindergarten
December 23, 2006
As a mom of 4 who’s youngest child is about to start Kindergarten this Fall, I’d like to share with you some things I’ve learned about Preschool over the last ten years, along with a list of readiness skills every child can be learning at home - whether attending Preschool or not.
Preschools, especially those taught in a church environment, are a wonderful resource that help prepare children for regular school. Not to mention they also provide social interaction with children of the same age, and for a few hours each week, a much-needed break for Mom. Overall, we highly recommend them!
There’s just one catch - Preschool is expensive!
Though I truly enjoyed successfully homeschooling our first child for preschool in 1994, by the time our next child was ready for preschool (in 1998) I also had a toddler at home (our third child), and another shortly on the way. My husband and I decided it was definitely time for some help, and somehow we managed to put our second child through preschool, as well as the third. And the fourth - as I’ve already mentioned, will be graduating this year.
What the Matter Is
December 22, 2006
When my oldest boy was really young, he tickled my mother with that phrase. I would ask him, “What’s the matter?” and he would answer me, “Well, what the matter is…” followed by whatever it was that he needed to discuss with me. He would say it with that very serious face that children get when they are expecting to be taken very seriously. We all loved the cute way he prefaced his concerns.
I overheard my daughter talking to my two year old the other day and it caused me to remember those days long ago when her older brother used to talk about ‘what the matter is.’ At thirteen, Sissy is a natural healer and nurturer. She hovers over her baby brother kissing all of his owies and making sure that life is gentle and kind to him. We have many debates over just how much mothering is smothering, but that’s another topic for another day. What caught my attention that day was that while our little Buddha Napoleon was whining and grumbling in his two year old lingo, she was continually asking him, “What’s wrong?” She repeatedly asked it in the most loving and dear voice. “What’s wrong?” You could definitely tell that she was genuinely concerned and wanted to know what was bothering him and how could she help. “What’s wrong?” Over and over she asked him, “What’s wrong?” as he babbled incoherently at her about something that was obviously ‘wrong’ in his world.
Robeez Shoes ? A Baby Shower Gift That Moms Will Thank You For
December 22, 2006
Robeez shoes help your baby put their best foot forward
If you have a new baby in your life one of the most fashionable and functional products available for your child are Robeez shoes. This terrific line of children’s shoes, created in 1994, has become a popular item for moms and the perfect baby shower gift for moms-to-be. This is no ordinary line of footwear. If you have ever dealt with kid’s shoes you know how easily shoes can fall off or be pulled off. Thanks to a secure, elasticized ankle band this line of baby shoes are not only easy to put on baby’s feet but they do not slip off.
Baby shoes need to be comfortable and reliable
Robeez shoes are machine-washable, genuine leather baby shoes recommended by medical experts to help in the early development of children’s feet. The next best alternative to bare feet these baby shoes allow your child to grip and feel the floor as they learn to walk. Better than baby slippers, these baby shoes are skid resistant and an ideal shoe for toddlers beginning to walk. Available in sizes from newborn up to 4 years of age Robeez has over 70 designs to choose from. Whether fun and funky or stylish and classic there is a design in this line of children’s shoes to suit any taste.
How Kids Learn To Cooperate In Video Games — A Guide for Parents and Teachers
December 22, 2006
A great many parents are concerned that the electronic games their kids play are teaching the kids "negative" messages such as aggression, violence, and isolation from real people. I want to illustrate here how computer and video game playing, can have positive effects on kids. This includes even the "addictive" game playing associated with many of these games. The learning from these games is well worth the effort the kids put in playing them, and kids typically sense this at some level, which is one reason they fight so hard for their games.
One key lesson many of their games is teaching them is the value of people working together and helping each other. To illustrate how this occurs, I will use one particular game, Toontown, as an example.
Toontown (www.toontown.com) is the Walt Disney Company’s entry into the Massive Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game (MMORPG) category. For the non-initiated, that means a computer game that supports thousands of players online simultaneously, all of whom can see and interact with each other. A key feature of these worlds is that they are "persistent," meaning that the worlds continue to exist and change whether or not you are there, just any other place in the real world.
Planning a Healthy Pregnancy
December 22, 2006
Looking for healthy lifestyle pregnancy information? Here are some steps for planning a pregnancy with your healthy lifestyle in mind.
The most important step in planning for a healthy pregnancy is getting you healthy. This means quitting use of tobacco products, illegal drugs and alcohol. Most doctors also advise limiting caffeine intake. A pre-pregnancy physical exam is also vitally important. Your health issues and medical history, as well as family history, will all have a bearing on the health of your baby, so discuss these issues with your doctor before conception. Your doctor may suggest a blood test to screen for some types of genetic disorders, and a review of conditions that may require special care during a pregnancy, like diabetes, should be reviewed.
You should begin watching what you eat, remember, your diet will be nourishing your baby too! Eat a balanced diet and begin taking prenatal vitamins, especially folic acid, before you conceive to make sure that the developing baby will be getting all the nutrition it needs. Your doctor can prescribe these vitamins during your pre-pregnancy exam. In addition to eating well, you should exercise regularly and get plenty of rest. Although pregnancy is usually a time of weight gain, try to manage your weight to avoid complications like high blood pressure and diabetes during the pregnancy. Making healthy eating a habit prior to conception will help to control your weight gain.
