The Secrets To Improving Childrens Behaviour
September 23, 2006
Most parents at some stage are driven to distraction by one or more of their children’s annoying habits or behaviours, whether it is a toddler who continually whines, a school-aged child who leaves clothes lying around or a teenager who uses a less than pleasant vocabulary.
How to affect change is a challenge for many parents. Do you ignore a child’s annoying behaviour or do you pick up on it? A useful rule of thumb is to pick up on behaviours that are dangerous to the child himself or significantly infringe on the rights and comfort of others.
Also ask yourself: Is this behaviour reasonable for the child’s age? For instance, it is reasonable to expect an eight year old not to disturb you while you are on the phone for twenty minutes but it is not reasonable to expect the same of a two year old.
It is also useful to take into account the child’s current state of mind and what is going in on their lives that may be related to some unusual behaviour to occur at home.
The following four principles for changing your child’s behaviour will be effective if you are both patient and persistent.
Is Your Child Becoming A Praise Junkie?
September 23, 2006
Do you praise your child when he fulfils a basic bodily function? Do you praise your child for obeying the laws of gravity? Do you give praise for simple socialisation procedures that your child practises every day?
No, you say. Have you ever praised your child for finishing all his meal? Ever praised a child for staying on his bike or perhaps staying vertical on roller-blades? Ever praised a toddler for their terrific smile and fantastic manners?
In the last few decades parents in many parts of the world including the US. UK and Australia have enthusiastically followed the positive parenting teachings, but for some praise for a job well done has become like a nervous tic.
"You finished your meal. What a guy!"
"That’s the best work I’ve ever seen!"
"You are such a clever little swimming girl."
"You used the toilet. Let’s ring grandma and tell her what a clever girl your are!"
Sound familiar. Yes most parents are well aware of the notion of praise but are we going too far? Parents and teachers can praise children so much that it becomes a little like water off a duck’s back and so lack any real meaning for kids. Too much praise can actually be demotivating for kids.
Why Consistency Is The Key To Raising Well-behaved Kids
September 22, 2006
Being consistent when children are less than perfect can make you feel dreadful. However consistency is one of the most important elements in the relationship with your children, but it is the one most frequently overlooked.
Consistency means dealing with the little misbehaviours and not letting them grow into bigger behaviours. It means saying no to children’s constant requests for five more minutes of television at night or a third serve of ice cream. It means following through and allowing children to experience a consequence when they misbehave every time. It doesn’t mean if children arrive home after dark from a friend’s place you ground them sometimes but at other times you just voice your disapproval. That type of inconsistency makes you responsible for children’s misbehaviour and teaches children nothing about accountability.
Consistency also means that both parents have a similar approach to behaviours. If mum is too strict and dad is too lenient children will know who to go to if they wish to take advantage. They will soon play one parent off against each other. If a child wants to get away without doing a job or stay an extra hour at a friend’s place just ask dad because he is easy-going. Even if you are separated, talk about your approaches to discipline and find some common ground. Agree on such issues as family rules, pocket money, and guidelines for going out and suitable consequences for misbehaviour.
Why A Father Is Not A Dad
September 22, 2006
It can be said that any man who procreates is a father, whether present in that child’s life or not. While this is technically true, it really takes a man to be a dad!
There is nothing more insulting than a cavalier man thinking he has every right in the world to see the child he helped to create, but was never there for him or her. It is as if he or she is obligated to him like that of a debt.
As a child of a broken home and now as a father myself, I know the purest definition of being a dad is the time spent with your child that will always prevail in the end.
Would you remember your father more if he was a millionaire but never there, or a near-penniless man who spent time with you and showed you the love you needed?
To me, it’s a no brainer!
However, many dynamics can and do interfere with being a dad. Turmoil-ridden marriages, separations, relocations, resentment from the child, and the ever-abundant brainwashing of a child to hate.
So if you’re a father doing his best to be a dad, how do you overcome such obstacles?
History of World of Warcraft
September 22, 2006
History of World of Warcraft
by: Hunter Crowell
World of Warcraft stands as the greatest game in the popular Warcraft series
World of Warcraft has been an extraordinary success since its launch in November 2004. It has impressed game critics and has captivated millions of players, who adore the world that the game has created. It is no longer just a game but is now a genuine phenomenon, and one that shows no signs of abating. It is one of the key games of recent times, and stands as a landmark title for online gaming.
World of Warcraft’s appeal lies in that it has created a truly engaging online world. This massively multiplayer online role-playing game is set in the world of Azeroth, a fantastic land that is filled with heroes and monsters and many other creatures. The game’s strength is that it functions as an experience, as a world that exists on its own terms that you may visit and explore as you please.
A History of Baby Names
September 22, 2006
The history of names is so ancient that no one know quite where it began. Oral and written history both profess people having names. Earlier names seem to have some sort of meaning, usually descriptive. In contrast, today’s names are usually given based upon their popularity or pleasing sounds.
Early in prehistory, descriptive names were used continuously. Eventually, a collection of names were formed that identified that particular culture. Today, the meanings of many names are not known, due to the aging history of a name. As time goes on, languages change, and words that formed the original name are often unrecognizable.
The rise in Christianity transformed the history of names. Christians were encouraged to name their children after saints and martyrs of the church. Because of this influence, we now see names such as Mary, Martha, Joseph, James, Mark, Paul, and John prominent among many cultures. These names were spread by early missionaries throughout Europe.
By the Middle Ages, Christian names were seen predominantly. Each culture had its collection of names, which were a combination of native and early Christian names. However, the naming pools continued to evolve. Modern names often bear little resemblance of their predecessors. Surprisingly, the early Christian names changed very little in comparison.
Labeling is Disabling: Achieving Congruent Communication
September 21, 2006
A small town, somewhere in the world, was managed by a town council of seven or eight members.
The council normally met once a week. One member - let’s call him Bill - would invariably stroll intothe council chamber exactly ten minutes after the time scheduled for the meeting.
For Bill’s fellow councilors, this seemingly inconsiderate practice was very disruptive. At first, since Bill was known to be an extremely busy professional, they were prepared to assume that he had been unavoidably delayed. But when history repeated itself meeting after meeting, they began to wonder..
Then one day, the sleepy little town was overtaken by a crisis, and the mayor asked his councilors to attend an emergency session - at 7 the following morning. And you guessed it - Bill turned up at 7:10 precisely.
This seemed to confirm the mayor’s suspicion’s that something more than unavoidable circumstances lay behind Bill’s habitual latecoming. After the meeting he called over the offending councilman for a private chat.
To the mayor’s surprise, Bill accepted the rebuke with good grace. Punctuality had never been his strongest point, he pleaded, and it had never dawned on him that his bad habit was upsetting everybody so. But from this point, he assured the mayor, he was a reformed man…
Raising a Tobacco-Free Kid
September 21, 2006
We begin forming healthy habits at a young age. With all that we know about smoking, it is astounding that young people will still take that first puff of a cigarette just to see what it is like. Many will not stop at that first experimental puff. Here are three things you can do to ensure that your child will not be tempted to smoke cigarettes:
1) If you happen to be a smoker, you need to quit. This is first and foremost. Do it for yourself as well as your children. Children are so quick to model the behavior of their parents. If they see parents using good manners, children will use good manners. If they see parents consistently eating healthy foods, they will be more likely to choose healthy foods. If they see their parents smoking cigarettes?well, you get the idea. If you are a smoker and you tell your children that they should not smoke then you are sending mixed messages. You need to show them as well as tell them.
Teach Your Children How To Resolve Conflict Without Using Anger Or Power
September 21, 2006
Teaching kids to deal with conflict effectively and peacefully is perhaps the biggest challenge facing adults today. Children’s disagreements both at home and at school can be noisy, physical and psychologically hurtful. The approach to conflict resolution learned and practised in childhood often stays for life.
Conflict is part of daily living. Effective people resolve conflict in ways that protect relationships, honour feelings and lead to a resolution. They neither avoid conflict nor do they use power to dominate others or win conflict.
It is useful for parents to provide a process for children to resolve individual differences peacefully and effectively. When two children have a disagreement that is upsetting to one or either then they may need adult assistance to resolve the conflict. One process that is both easy to learn and highly effective is the Face-Up conflict resolution process that is a variation on some common processes in use.
In the Face-up process children face each other and maintain eye contact. This helps for greater openness and understanding. It generally requires an adult to be present as a third party so parents may need to stick around to make sure it works effectively.
Teach Children The Skills Of Optimism
September 21, 2006
Optimists do better academically, socially and enjoy better health than pessimists.
Helping your child look on the bright side is a significant life skill to develop. When children think that can succeed they are more likely to give things a try. In other word, if they think THEY CAN, THEY WILL.
Optimists look at the flip side of negative events for some good, some hope and some reason to be positive. It means having a strong self-belief and confidence to deal with situations.
Experts in the area of optimism agree that there are five building blocks of optimism:
1. Having a go and persisting
2. Practising skills
3. Coming to terms with success and failure
4. Planning for the future
5. Having the belief and confidence to try again
Importantly, these building blocks link optimism with competence so when children experience success they are more likely to believe that they can achieve and have more success.
Some children are natural optimists. They are born with optimistic temperaments and have natural dispositions to deal with challenges and problems. Others expect the worst and tend to see catastrophes where really small challenges exist.
